My Uncle Waldo

My Uncle Waldo - Page 3

There can be no doubt that Uncle Waldo did a good job of spoiling me and in being an exceedingly good friend, with the consequence that I developed certain expectations toward him. I expected that his attention toward me would never be diminished, and that it would be everlasting. In looking back, I see what a valuable experience his friendship was for me. I learned a lot from him, and I developed an understanding of how to relate in a real way toward an adult, other than a parent, with true friendship. He was always my big adult friend who I totally respected and looked up to. Even when I was 10 years of age, he was 24 and more than twice my age.

But, I did notice that my uncle seemed to be more and more preoccupied, and I saw him less frequently as time went on. Some of this was because his college studies were very important and he needed to graduate, and the other was that he was becoming more involved with his own friends and a social life. When I would see him, I would try to pin him down about doing something together or helping me with a model airplane project that I was having a problem with. He would always confirm a time to see and be with me, but often those dates would be cancelled or forgotten. I often became disappointed, but then, I also knew that he had a life to live and he needed to move on. It was a hard fact to face, but it was another lesson for me and I needed to understand that this is what I would have to expect, even if I didn’t like it.

Still, I was disappointed that Uncle Waldo’s social life and other activities were taking his time away from me, and it bothered me that I could not see him more. I then began to hear that he was seeing a certain woman quite steadily and it was not long before he announced his engagement to her; it was the person that he would soon spend the rest of his life with. When he married MaryAnne Holt, the feelings I had were mixed between being happy for him (because others were), and feeling abandoned by the person who I idolized. He seemed more aloof from me than ever without any seeming awareness of my feelings and I was disheartened. There was no communication from him, and in my immature way I had decided not to speak to him unless he spoke to me, and that left me more alone with my thoughts and with an empty feeling. And then time went on.

It was not long after Waldo and MaryAnne were married that they were invited to come to our house to babysit my brother and I while my parents went out for the evening. I suppose my parents thought it would be good for my brother and I to have this evening together with my uncle and his new wife, and that it would be good for them to experience together what having children might be like. Well, for everyone concerned, it did not turn out to be that good. The era of television was fairly new and I had taken a keen interest in the Lone Ranger western program which was aired once a week, on Wednesday evenings, at 7:00p.m. I had previously found interest in this show at grandma's place where she had a TV. But, now that we had a new TV, I was given permission to watch this one program, even if I still had chores to do. On this night, however, as my program was about to start, my babysitters demanded that I finish my chores first (drying the dinner dishes by towel) before I could watch television. Needless to say, there was a confrontation, and I was sent to my room to go to bed. An hour or so later, MaryAnne brought me a bowl of ice cream to eat in my room, but I ignored her and I ignored the ice cream. It was melted in the bowl when my mother awoke me the next morning and then asked why I had not eaten the ice cream. I now felt further betrayed by my uncle and I was pained and tortured with twisted feelings about this. For a long time after, I could not look at either him or MaryAnne in the eye, but I looked instead for some reconciliation from them, which never came.

The years then went by with little or no interaction between me and my aunt and uncle. In family visits, I ignored them, and there was never a mention of the baby sitting episode. They went on and had three wonderful children, all girls (MaryCarol, Tina, and Kay). Now, when looking back on my young days and the relationship that I had with my Uncle Waldo, I know that he became an excellent father to my three first cousins. I think he would have liked to have had a son, and he would have “spoiled” him even more than he did me, with many fishing excursions and other adventures.

I can’t say that Waldo and I never communicated again, because we sometimes did, but it was never with the same intimate friendship once felt. On one occasion, as a teenager during a fourth of July holiday, Waldo was having fun with me in lighting firecrackers and we were having a great time. When I had run out of punks to light firecrackers with, he gave me a package of his cigarettes to use, which must have caused my mother some grave concern (probably to her relief, I never did take up the smoking habit). But, I was delighted that my uncle was interacting with me.

On another occasion, I showed up at his house with a nice looking girl in tow after a day of skiing in the mountains during college break. My intent was to show her off, and to possibly get some positive recognition. I had been feeling somewhat looked down upon by him and MaryAnne because of my quiet demeanor, and especially because of my continued attitude toward them. I just wanted some recognition that I was doing okay. This girl obviously liked me and she was quite attractive, and I saw this as a way for me to say to Waldo, “look at what I’ve got”, and to also say that I now understand about having a social life and the need to spend time with others.

After graduating from college, I was then faced with military service. But, there was really no other choice for me than to join the Air Force, since it had been ingrained in my subconscious that this is where I belonged. It had been Waldo’s choice.

The years went by, and later when I became married (in the same church as Waldo), I grew to understand that relationships are what you make of them and that you do not always have control over circumstances or of the person or of people you associate with. But, it is usually certain that you have control over your own attitude and how you react toward others. My experience with my favorite uncle was a valuable treasure and it will remain with me for the rest of my time. I can wish that I had behaved differently when I felt separated from him in my early life, but such are the experiences of life, of lessons learned, and of the idea of taking responsibility for ones own feelings and actions.

When my father gave me a call at work one day, in October of 1981, that my Uncle Waldo had passed away (at age 55), my heart was broken, and all of those fond memories from the past began to flood into my mind. He was truly a great uncle!

Top